I always return to painting self portraits.
There is certainly the practical reason. It is hard to find someone willing to sit in front of me for 6 hours at 10pm on Sunday night, but I always seem to be willing.
That’s not the complete story though.
I’ve never been much of an intellectual artist. When I make art as an intellectual exercise, or to express an intellectual concept, it falls flat. In my mind, intellectual art is better served by the craft of illustration, using line to exactingly express an idea, fact, or concept.
Art works for me when it comes from emotion. If you tie me down and force to tell you what art is, and I will tell you art is turning emotions into images.
I have a hard time expressing emotions. I don’t talk about how I feel, or write how I feel, it doesn’t work. I’ve been told I have walls to guard my emotions (in one of those delightful now-that-we-are-broken-up-i’ll-tell-you-what-i-really-think-of-you conversations).
Self Portrait II, Oil on canvas, 12x12
Painting how I feel works, however. Imagery can represent how I feel in ways I don’t know how to communicate otherwise. This is, I think, why I make art. If you want to understand me, understanding my art will get you well over half way there. The art that best translates my emotions into an image is usually my best art.
Self portraits connect me back to the basic reason that I make art. When I stare myself down for hours at a time, I can’t avoid how I feel. This becomes the fuel for my self-portrait paintings. The paintings themselves don’t always hold the charge of emotion, but the process does.
I whipped out this painting you see here on the left because I felt stuck. (Being stuck seems to be going around.) I wasn’t sure what I should be doing with my art, or where I want to take it. I had no idea what images to make.
I’ve had some ideas, but nothing that really gets to the heart of what I mean to do. One of my recent “good ideas” involved roly polies. The other involved my truck. Not exactly high impact. I had decent reasons for these ideas though. Kinda.
As I worked on this painting, I was able to wrap my head around my art, and what I should be doing with it. I rediscovered what is important to me, and I have an idea which direction to move in, even if I don’t know how exactly it will show up in my art.
I know I can revisit self portraits when I need a kick in the right direction, or to figure out what is going on inside. It works.
Tags: oils, painting, self portrait
Lessons from My Inner Self that I freely choose to share with you:
1) Nothing blocks the flow of creativity like: Should, Must, Good Enough, High Impact, and all other such expectations. My sketch book (which lasts me years and years) is all the proof you need of that.
2) Do what’s in front of you: Hey, roly polies and your truck may not be the height of art, your ultimate goal as an artist, BUT when you do what inspires you it leads to more things. ‘Member the whole skater dude series was a “nothing” doodle meant to distract you. I recently read a quote about the artist’s least favorite pieces always being someone else’s fav… (where did I read the?)
All that to say, you never know, so why not just go with the flow and worry about the rest once you’ve got a steady flow in action? (Sorry, don’t mean to be bossy, it’s my nature 🙂 ).
Yours,
Megan
p.s. really like the brush work on this, very cool.
.-= Megan Potter´s last blog post ..Daring Mondays: Be =-.
Thanks Megan, I always appreciate your perspective. I get really wrapped up in my way of thinking about things, and sometimes it blinds me.
Oh, and my feelings about “how good an idea” my truck is probably won’t stop me from making art about my truck.
I love my truck 🙂
Megan, this is the Sean I’ve known for years. And you’re right, the brush is excellent.
I talked to Sean a couple of days ago. He told me he wasn’t very satisfied with it. Which is fine. Easier for me wheedle it out of him. Maybe even as a loaner… yeah, I’m talking about you buddy. Just bring that thing over Friday tomorrow afternoon, it will be hanging on my well when you get back from the desert!
.-= Dave Doolin´s last blog post ..Hacked. I Feel So Violated, Again! =-.